Frequently Asked Questions:

It might be that guys think talking about sex makes them look “cool” ---they may think that girls prefer “more experienced” guys. Those that are not sexually active might use their conversations about sex to cover for really having experience. Males tend to think about sex more often than females, and often times what a person “thinks about” is what they talk about. Sexual involvement is frequently shown on TV, and what a person puts in their mind often comes out in their behavior or conversation.

Sometimes girls flirt to get attention. They may want to feel they are attractive to guys. Looking for this attention may be a cover for underlying insecurities, and having this attention lets them think that they are at least good at one thing. There may be some peer pressure involved, as our culture expects girls to flirt. For some girls flirting is just fun. Flirting may, however, signal to guys a different message than what was intended!

It takes a lot of courage to ask a girl out on a date. But knowing that you have parental approval can make it a little easier. Guys should speak with their parents. If it’s OK with them, ask the girl out for a fun activity in a group, or to a safe place that allows them to speak to each other exclusively, but be in public. It is important to not place yourself in a situation that may lend itself to further physical involvement.. It’s hard to say what girls like to do on first dates –it is all very subjective. But one thing that is never frowned upon is treating a girl with courtesy. Show her special attention, get to know her, and give her respect.

Most think that love is an emotion, but really love is a devotion. The basis of love is friendship and a genuine care for a person. This entails the ability to honestly put that person above you and be able to work through difficult times together with the relationship/friendship intact. Yet, love goes beyond friendship. It is the readiness to commit oneself to the other, commit as in “no other dating possibilities or even thoughts thereof”. The behaviors associated with love are what give it its power. Often, love is confused with infatuation, which behaves much differently. Infatuation rarely puts the other person first. Instead, it focuses on its wants, physical attraction, or sex. Being “in love” is far more than an empty phrase. It is a choice manifested in actions. Look at these behaviors to find its source.

Yes, if you have sex with someone, regardless of whether it was your first time or not, you can get pregnant.

No, there is no risk of getting pregnant with anal or oral sex; however, there are many risks of contracting one or more STD's with oral or anal sex. Abstinence from all forms of sexual activity is the only 100 percent effective method against pregnancy and STD's.

Can you get pregnant your first time having sex?

A research study conducted on couples who consistently used condoms when they had sex, still show that 15 percent experience a pregnancy within one year with typical use. There is no magic percentage number for adolescent use because one must also take into account if the condom is used correctly; put on at the appropriate time, and used with every sexual contact. The only 100 percent effective method against pregnancy is abstinence from sexual activity. Condoms also do not provide protection from emotional hurts one can encounter by being sexually active in a relationship.

During consistent usage, 2-4 percent of condoms slip or break during use.

The only 100 percent effective method in protecting someone from contracting STDs is abstinence from all sexual activity.

When used consistently and correctly, condoms reduce the risk of infection of some STDs. The most recent studies show these results:

Gonorrhea: 50% (Ahmed S et al. 2001 AIDS, Baeton JM et al. 2001 American J Oby/Gyny, NIH 2001 The Condom Report)

Chlamydia: 50% (Ahmed, Baeton)

Syphilis: 30-50% (Ahmed, Baeton)

Trichomoniasis: No Evidence of risk reduction (Ahmed, NIH)

HPV: 50% (Shew ML et al. 2006. Arch Pediatric Adolesence Med)

HIV: 85% (NIH, Davis KR, Weller SC 1999 Family Planning Perspective)

HSV2: 40%

100% condom use does not reduce the risk of STD infection 100%. Only abstinence from all sexual activity does this.

No, condoms are not equally protective for all STD's. There is a greater risk in contracting an STD that is spread with skin to skin contact (HPV, Herpes) even with the use of a condom. In general adolescent females are at a greater risk.

HIV is viral and is the virus that causes AIDS. Human Papilloma Virus is the virus that causes genital warts and is the most common viral STD. Herpes (HSV) is a virus that can be transmitted both orally, and with genital contact. Viral STD's are incurable. Bacterial STD's are Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphillis, and Chanchroid and are treatable with antibiotic treatment. Trichomonas is a parasitic infection which is also curable with antibiotic treatment.

It is estimated that there are more than 68 million current STD infections among Americans. Each year, over 15 million new STD infections occur, including over 3 million infections in teenagers. The most common infections are herpes and human papilloma virus (HPV) and they account for 96 percent of the STD's contracted.

The Centers for Disease Control recommends that if you have been sexually active you should have a medical checkup to test for disease. If you continue to be sexually active you need a checkup every 6 months. Remember, many STDs do not have symptoms and you could still be infected even though you notice no signs and are not sick.

Your family physician can test for STDs. Also, most local health departments provide STD testing. Call your doctor or county health department if you have been sexually active to make an appointment. If you live in Northwest Indiana , click here to see a sample of places to go for testing.